Why being an “Independent Woman” is overrated 

For decades women have been fighting for their independence, me included.

Being raised by a single mother, I’ve always had a special reverence for women who were independent.

By independent, I mean a woman who gets the job done without a man and doesn’t. “need” a man because she is more than capable of ensuring things get done, and get them done the “right” way.

As I’ve grown older and must I say wiser, the Lord has revealed to me the error of my ways. He’s revealed to me that my fight for “independence” or the fight to keep my so-called “independence” would lead me on a lonely destructive journey.

As the Lord continues to deal with my heart on this matter, I’m humbled that He’s chosen me to share my journey and revelation with my dear sisters.

The scripture is clear in John 15:5 that without Christ we can do nothing. (ESV, I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me, you can do nothing).

As I reflect on this scripture it penetrates the depths of my soul. As women, we have endless demands and responsibilities. We’re expected to do this and to do that and don’t we dare overlook a responsibility; we’re criticized and made to feel as though we have no worth.

With that in mind, we have found ourselves in a rut trying to prove to ourselves and others that we are worthy and that anything that a man can do we can do, and do it better. In our endless efforts to prove this to ourselves we’ve emasculated men, provoking them not pursue God’s plan and purpose for their lives.

My journey began three and half years go, when the Lord placed it on my heart to leave the working arena to become a stay at home wife and mother. Though I was totally burned out with my current career, I was still apprehensive about making the transition. I’d work since I was 14 years old, I didn’t know life without work.

I realized that in order for me to pursue coming home to be a stay at home wife and mom, I was going to have to trust God and not self. I knew I had to stop depending on my own abilities and knowledge and depend solely on Christ to provide.

I realized a very important lesson that day…” independence” is overrated.

It has never been part of God’s plan for women to be independent. We were created as the weaker vessel. We were created to depend on God and as the Lord gives us a husband to also depend on him. (1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as a weaker vessel, sine they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered).

2 Corinthians 12:9 reads: And he said unto me, my grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

There is power in knowing who we were created to be as women, and though we are the weaker vessel, we still have an immeasurable amount of influence in the lives of our husbands, our sons, our daughters and others in our realm of influence.

May we each commit to living a life in full dependence of the Lord.

Prayer: Lord, help us to depend on you. Help us to live in such a way that brings glory and honor to your  name. Old things have past away, behold we are new…new in you. We no longer define our lives according to the world but according to you word. In Jesus name, amen.

💜 Chrystal


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